Journey of the Heart ~♥~

Dear Holly,

From the moment you were born I could tell you were a gentle soul. That's why I named you Holly. "People with the name Holly have a deep inner desire for a stable, loving family or community, and a need to work with others and to be appreciated. They tend to be passionate, compassionate, intuitive, romantic, and to have magnetic personalities. They are usually humanitarian, broadminded and generous, and tend to follow professions where they can serve humanity. Because they are so affectionate and giving, they may be imposed on. They are romantic and easily fall in love, but may be easily hurt and are sometimes quick-tempered."

You were always nurturing; whether it was your dolls, your brothers, or me. I wanted you to pursue a career, but early on I could tell your heart was in pursuing a family and home. When Corey put our newborn kittens in his shirt pocket, over his heart, I knew he was the right partner for you. Before you raised great kiddos you raised great kitties. I admire you both. You are the best parents I know. You have created a lovely home and are raising beautiful, talented, and caring children.

I know it hasn't been easy for you. I know what it is like to live with chronic pain and try to take care of a home and raise a family. Living with chronic pain is not only an assault on your body it is an assault on your mind. The un-relentless torture of agony, limitations, and lack of understanding can bring you to utter despair. The mind is more fragile than your body and without a strong faith it is almost impossible to maintain. Even then, it is almost impossible to continue without prayer support. Moses needed Joshua and Aaron to hold his arms up when he was too weak to carry on. Please don't be reluctant to ask for help.

I am so grateful you are surrounded by loving and caring people who support you and lift you up in prayer. I pray you find healing and answers on your walk to Emmaus. Open your heart to receive all the Lord has for you. Never let the world harden you, touch the world with your gentle soul. What ever life has in store for you, it is my hope that you laugh often, cry when needed, and love much. Laughter warms the heart, a good cry releases the pain and love heals all. You will always be my baby...you will always be loved!

God Bless You...Sending lots of blessings, prayers & love ♥ Mom

Being submitted is yielding to the will or authority of another. That is not very popular in these days of independent thinking. There is just something innately in our flesh that resists submission, as if they win and we lose. It is however, the core of our faith in God through His son Jesus Christ. Submitting is about accepting and acknowledging where you are powerless and trusting God to take over.  

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5.

Most of us have difficulty trusting and submitting at some point or in some area of our life. Even though we know..."He who trusts in himself is a fool. . ." Proverbs 28:26. Being submitted to God is a process, a process of surrendering our own will to that of God's. For years I struggled with submitting to God's call for me to write. Then I discovered the wonderful world of blogging.

When God first called me to write I laughed like Sarah did when God said she would have a son in her old age. I also lacked the faith to believe God could make possible the impossible. My response was "I can't write." Not "may your will be done." I didn't understand...

"God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen.” I Corinthians 1:27-28

This foolish, weak thing, finally surrendered to the call and still every day is a struggle. A struggle to submit to God's will and not my own thoughts, insecurities, and plans. I planned to follow an outline and try to write everyday. Yep...I got nothing.

The main theme God has been speaking to me through out this journey is learning about control. About God being in control and I am not. If I was talented enough to write and physically able I would just go on in my own abilities. God has me in a position of being completely submitted to Him.

So, I don't know where this journey is going to take me. I will share what He is teaching me, when He is teaching me...or correcting me...and trust in His perfect timing. For I have learned that I do not have the ability or power to overcome my weaknesses.

Only Our Heavenly Father has the power to make the impossible possible. If I was able to do anything in my ability I would be able say it was by "my power" and "my talent" and "my strength"... not Christ in me the hope of Glory!
 
I have created this blog to share the lessons I have learned on the heart. I am not writing to make money or because I am witty and have any grand adventures to share. I am not writing because I enjoy writing, which I don't; nor because I am good at it, which I am not. I flunked several English classes because I neither understood grammar or cared to learn about it. I am writing out of submission.

I try to blog and share when I have the strength. I write two blogs: This is my Journey and Journey of the Heart. I contribute on HeartCry, Recipes and For a Brighter Day.  I would love to have you travel along with me by joining Networked Blogs or Google. I need the prayers and support of my friends. I am so blessed by the friends who have already joined.

On this holiday celebrating love and the tradition of exchanging man made hearts are we exchanging our spiritual hearts with God. Do you have A Heart for God? We will send Valentines and post love notes on walls, but is that real. Is that the love that comes from the heart of God? How wonderful to have a holiday based on love, but we are bombarded by so many distractions, so many versions of love in our life and on the media, that I believe the enemy is trying to distort and pervert our concept of love.

God has created our hearts to be filled by Him. There is an empty place in all of our hearts that only can be filled by God. If it is not we start looking...looking for things to fill that void. It can be food, possessions, activities, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and anything else the world has to offer, but mostly relationships. Especially women, we are taught from an early age that our "Prince Charming" will sweep us away and our life will be a fairy tale. It sets us up to replace that void for the "love" of a man.

If you haven't experienced or been taught at an early age to fill that void with God you believe that is what love is. Especially on Valentines Day. We focus on... our man... looking for a man... depressed because we don't have a man... maybe I will just eat chocolate. Many people are turning to food to fill the void that only God can fill. Again the answer is love. Not only the love of God, but love for ourselves. Not the self center kind, but a wholesome acceptance of our strengths and weaknesses.

So, on this Valentines Day, may you receive the most priceless heart of all...A heart for God. May you have a desire for more of God in your life...just as you hunger for food and thirst for water. May the desires of your flesh be turned into an intimate relationship with Christ. May your pain be healed and the emptiness filled. May the words "I love you" turn into actions of love. 

With much love, wishing you a Happy Valentines Day!
May God Richly Bless You ~ ♥~ Brenda

 

I don't get out very often, but every couple of weeks I try to get to the store. With one look out my window I decided to wait for the snow to melt... there will be sunshine in a couple of days.

It seems I have spent a lot of time waiting. Waiting to write until I feel better. I told myself it didn't matter. What did I really have to say anyway. Bottom line, it is not about what I have to say...it is about what God has to say and Christ in me. There have been so many lessons the Holy Spirit has put on my heart. I would discuss a few with friends and think..."I will put that down when I feel better." Well...feel better never came...feel better may never come. Maybe that is the greater lesson. The lesson of perseverance in adversity.

I struggle believing that people can be blessed even with something that is less than perfect. It is not about "me" anyway...It is... "Christ in me, the hope of glory" Colossians 1-27. Instead of waiting for the sunshine...I needed to wait for the Son to Shine. I have let in too much darkness. The enemy had me thinking I just might take these lessons to the grave.

Sometimes when I walk around the cemetery while visiting my parents graves I think "this is probably the largest collection of unfulfilled dreams...people who died before their visions were realized." I pray I can endure. I pray I don't die before my visions are realized. I pray I don't let the enemy steal my dreams. I pray I can begin to live an abundant life. For my friends who might be struggling also...

Are you waiting for everything to be perfect? Do you have analysis paralysis? Don't die before your visions are realized. Don't let the enemy still your dreams. Don't wait to live an abundant life.

For every Christian who has a had a broken heart, been disappointed, sick, and angry, be careful you are in danger of going down the broken road. The broken road is when a Christian gets their eyes off of Jesus and onto themselves. Be careful it is a slippery slope from focusing on yourself, to becoming self absorb, and having a wrong spirit. I have been angry, hurt, and focused on myself. My heart has been divided.

A heart divided will follow the broken road. You have accepted Jesus as your savior. Experienced the joy of your salvation. Walked in the fruits of The Spirit. Had wonderful communion with The Lord and fellowship with believers. Then life happens. The winds of the enemy blow. Are you like the willow tree that bends and sways, but remains firmly grounded in the Lord or has the enemy eaten away at your insides so much that when the wind blows you snap and become broken?

That has been my journey. This is my struggle. If you have struggled with life, had hurts and pain, then maybe you can relate to my journey. It has been a process of dying to self, kicking and screaming all the way. Praise God, I still have a heart that was aware that this is not a good place and not compatible with the Holy Spirit. Praise God, we have a savior who died for our sins! We have a Heavenly Father who waits with open arms for the prodigal son to return home. Back to the narrow path that leads straight to Him.

Whenever we become self consumed, be grateful when the Holy Spirit comes to burn it out, because our God is a consuming fire. He is a jealous God and will not abide in a divided heart. Are you are on the broken road my friend? Are you in need of Resurrection? Only Jesus can take the broken life and make it whole again.

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

"He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi... that they may offer to the Lord an offering in righteousness." Malachi 3:3

"You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God.” Exodus 20:4-5

Few of us have made it through life without dealing with controlling people. They're your boss, spouse, parent, child. They make life difficult and crush the weak. Always demanding their selfish desires be met. Sometimes their goals are altruistic but their motivation is from the flesh or a controlling spirit. Even though some people are perceived to be more controlling than others, the truth is, we all can be controlling at some time or in some situations. It is a battle we all must learn to overcome.

I have read many books on controlling people. There was a time in the church when many were trying to cast out a "controlling/Jezebel spirit." The problem is, they are all focused on symptoms and behaviors. I have heard it said, "there is nothing you can do about the controlling spirit in the church." Yes, it is everywhere. I believe no one has found a solution because they approached it as a behavioral problem or a spiritual problem. Not that those issues don't need to be dealt with, but we must begin at the root of the problem...the heart.

The heart is the center most part of our being, our innermost thoughts and feelings. It controls our personality, emotions, behaviors, and attitudes. Proverbs 4:23 says, everything you do flows from your heart. The Lord searches our hearts night and day. What will He find there? A heart surrendered to God and the call of the Holy Spirit or a heart divided...tangled up in the the things of this world and the desires of the flesh.

The heart determines the path we will follow. A heart surrendered will follow the narrow path. A heart consumed with self and evil intentions will follow the broad road. A heart divided will follow the broken road. That is the road I have found myself on many times. I know I am not alone.

Whenever we become self absorbed, we open ourselves to the wrong spirit, which only leads to destruction. Praise God...we have a savior who died for our sins! We have a Heavenly Father who waits with open arms for the prodigal son to return home. No matter how many times we fall He is there to pick us up and make us whole again!
"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

The unguarded heart has big flashing signs "open doors...come on down" and that is exactly what the enemy will do when you do not understand how imperative it is to keep your heart guarded. Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else" nothing you do is more important than guarding your heart because everything you do flows from your heart. The heart is the center most part of our being, our innermost thoughts and feelings. It controls our personality, emotions, behaviors, and attitudes. Now the most important question is...

Who is controlling your heart?

A guarded heart is under the control of God, submitted to Christ, surrendered to the will of the Holy Spirit. Always being vigilant, always aware, ready to push back and destroy the enemy whenever he approaches. For me, I understood the need, had the desired, but was clueless about the process. Picturing myself as a guard made about as much sense as picturing myself in metal armor clamoring around going to shoo the devil away. Analogies are good for the enlightened, but can leave simple folk, such as myself, scratching their heads.

Simply put, guarding your heart is about discipline. Yep, anyone who has ever tried to loose weight knows how difficult that can be in the flesh. Here's the good news...we are not in this alone. I for one am not capable of prolonged acts of discipline. So, it is really about surrender. Surrendered to God, to say, "I can't do this alone, Jesus Take the Wheel, help me have the discipline to guard my heart. Help me to be disciplined enough to take every action, thought, and word captive so that it is pleasing to You."

I have made more mistakes than I care to remember. I personally must remain in prayer to guard my heart against romantic feelings. Not only for myself, but for others. I know the schemes of the enemy... "been there bought the t-shirt"...and really have a heart for the lonely. Especially when you are recovering from a divorce. Your heart is torn into and the unhealed heart is desperate to be made whole... looking for someone to fill the void.

I have learned it is easy to get distracted and caught up longing for something outside of God's plans...even if you believe it is God's plan. If God has a spouse for you, He will speak to the other person as well...if not...I am sorry you have been deceived. If you are married God is not going to bring someone else in your life, even if they are more "spiritual." These are all schemes of the enemy. Nip it, the first thought of what if, I want, or we could really do something for The Lord together.

It is our responsibility to not only take control of our actions, but our thought life. If you can't... pray. If you still can't... that is why we need the body. Other believers holding us up, standing in the gap, when the enemy has taken control of an unguarded heart. When the enemy takes control of an unguarded heart it becomes a source of defilement. You should not be too proud or embarrassed to ask for help. Whether it is controlling your thoughts, habits or your TONGUE!

"He [Jesus] went on: 'What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.'” Mark 7:20-23

Many people think guarding their heart means keeping people away and putting walls around yourself so no one can get in. They build walls and put up barricades thinking, if I don't let anyone close, I am not going to get hurt. It only serves to distance yourself from God and people, because before long that wall is going to turn into a hard heart. It is also the lazy way out. They put up walls dust of their hands and think that's that. Unfortunately, the enemy knows you are not paying attention and sends in his minions to crawl right over that wall and attack.

A guard is someone who stands on watch keeping an eye out ready to take action whenever the enemy approaches. It is a defensive position of one assigned to protect. That is what it means to guard your heart. Always being vigilant, always aware, ready to push back and destroy the enemy whenever he approaches. They also yield and open the gates for their Lord and comrades. Then they are back keeping watch. Keeping watch to protect from all the little things that can keep us distracted and big things that can destroy your heart.

The enemy can approach in various ways. Little ways by keeping us busy, entertaining things that undermined your faith, situations and people. The guard stands vigilant not to let the enemy in and ready to push back the arrows that try to kill and maim. The enemy sends arrows of anger, pride, worthlessness, lust, strife, control, greed, impatience...and anything contrary to the Love of God. If you are not vigilant these things will begin to manifest in your life.

I have learned nothing can get to your heart like romantic feelings. After all it is "love"...what could be wrong with "love"...we are called to "love"...right? We are called to Agape love, but so many people do not understand the difference. Preston has many blogs on the subject. Still... reading, understanding, and applying is a process. We are wired to desire a mate. We are bombarded with romance and Fairy Tales. The enemy barely has to wink to get our feelings, mind, and spirit confused.

I thought "love" makes the world go round and to be loving was to open your heart to everyone. Wrong! The guard opens the gate for their Lord and comrades...not the enemy! We open our heart to receive the salvation of Jesus Christ, to find comfort in the arms of The Father, to grow in the presence and knowledge from the Holy Spirit. We open our hearts with Agape love in fellowship with believers and binding the wounds of the injured we met along our path. We do not open our hearts to people, situations, or THOUGHTS that will divert our path or damage our heart.

The enemy knows if he can get to your heart he can keep you from the fullness of a relationship with Christ and the body. Are you guarding your heart? It took me years to understand. Not only was there no guard on my heart. I had big flashing signs "open doors...come on down." That is something I have learned the hard way, by not keeping watch... not understanding how to keep watch or how to guard my heart. It is a process I am continually learning.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" Proverbs 4:23.

People who have a heart for God have a desire for more of God in their life. Just as you hunger for food, and thirst for water, those with a heart for God have a soul which hungers and thirsts for God. Have you ever been out of soda, coffee, milk, or whatever your flesh desires? When you come home from the store all you can think about is diving in before you even put away the rest of your groceries. Our flesh is so weak we can't go a day or a few hours without the object of our desire. That is the desire our soul should have toward God.

Yet so many times the desires of my flesh keep me from that intimate relationship that I desire. I am distracted by busyness, hunger, loneliness, and pain. I know living in God's heart is living in His Love. It is so easy to "say" I love you. We will send Valentines and post it on walls, but is that real. Is that the love that comes from the heart of God? We are bombarded by so many distractions, so many versions of love in our life and on the media, that I believe the enemy is trying to distort and pervert our concept of love.

God has created our hearts to be filled by Him. There is an empty place in all of our hearts that only can be filled by God. If it is not we start looking...looking for things to fill that void. It can be food, activities, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and anything else the world has to offer, but mostly relationships. Especially women, we are taught from an early age that our "prince Charming" will sweep us away and our life will be a fairy tale. It sets us up to replace that void for the "love" of a man. If you haven't experienced or been taught at an early age to fill that void with God you believe that is love.

Then the inevitable happens when your heart is filled with the wrong things. Relationships end and your heart is torn in two. Then you are back looking for another relationship to fill the void and take away the pain...and the cycle goes on and on. Or maybe out of commitment or necessity you stay in an empty relationship. You pretend you are not doing anything wrong when your eyes and heart start to wander to someone more spiritual or more attentive than your spouse. See...you are looking for someone else to fill that void...that emptiness. You are looking for something that only God can give you. So many marriages could be saved if they only understood this.

The problem when your heart is broken and filled with holes you leak everywhere. You are filled one minute and empty the next. So, How do you repair a broken heart...that's the lyrics in many a song. It wouldn't be so popular if there weren't so many broken hearts. That's what happens when you travel down the wrong path. First you have to recognize you have taken a detour. That's the journey I will be discussing...how did we get in the wrong direction and how do we get back on the path of wholeness.

Have you ever felt like something is missing? You are saved and yet you don't feel whole? Maybe you no longer feel the joy and victory that was once prominent in your life. I have been feeling like that lately. This has been a very difficult season for me. I have been trying to write for days. I have several topics started and never got the freedom to finish.

I have prayed...read scripture...cried out to the Lord...seeked His Face...still it alluded me. Little by little the Lord has been guiding me... leading me. First I changed the name of the blog to "Journey of the Heart." I began thinking it would just be a compliment to "HeartCry"...then realized no...it is a journey of the heart.

I needed to go back to where my journey detoured and allow the Holy Spirit to clean and restore my heart. Years ago the Lord gave me a teaching on the heart that I shared with a group of ladies I was teaching. I have an outline and notes, but I never completed the teaching. The enemy attacked. My husband left me and I have spent years in a whirlwind on a detoured journey.

As I was going through the notes my eyes open to how it all fits together. I kept seeing "feed my sheep." Then when I went back later and looked at my notes I realized it wasn't written anywhere. The Lord wanted to bring to my attention a message he had given me years ago...

I believe I was feeling the emptiness and lack of love in my marriage...so in my hurt and pain I called out to Jesus..."Do you love me?" Father..."Do you love me?" Then the Lord spoke to my spirit, "Brenda, Do you love me? Feed my sheep." I wanted comforting and he called me to service.

He knew being focused on myself was never going to fill the emptiness and give me the love I desired. He knew as we share God's love it returns back and we learn to love God even more. So, here I am...finally surrendered to the call...finally surrendered to to the journey of healing my heart and sharing the lessons I have learned along the way.

I would love to have you follow along as I begin the "Journey of my Heart."

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see yourself through God's eyes or through the eyes of the world?  Do you see only your imperfections and pain? When people laugh at you, do you allow their opinions to color your self worth? Have you become hard and bitter? If you feel beaten down by the world, remember...in God’s eyes, there is no judgment, there is only acceptance. In God’s eyes, there is no pain too hard to bear nor weakness that can't be overcome.

I know what it is like to be laughed at. I have been sick all my life. One doctor actually said "when God put you together He didn't do a very good job." I wasn't physically, mentally, or psychologically good at sports, so I was always chosen last. I never understand the concept of taunting so I took all the remarks personally which made it even more difficult to relate. I was extremely thin 5' 6" and 98 lbs. Some how people seem to think it is not rude to make fun of you if you are thin. I didn't develop until I was 17 and in college. Horrifying when you are surrounded by voluminous friends.

I have severe digestive problems which makes me very smelly. My stomach is more like a colon. It is long with a pace maker at each end. So when I eat food it just shoots it into my colon without proper digest. Plus I have Celiac disease and lactose intolerance. All these make tremendous amounts of gas. Funny with friends who love you...not so funny when you are a kid and have no understanding of what is going on...or in church with people who are suppose to be "loving." I have had the most awful things said to me in church.

After my husband left me I was devastated. I was so sick I had blood just pouring out of me. I went to church anyway thinking the fellowship would do me good. A guy near me said " my God no wonder her husband left her." I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Interestingly my friend who was sitting right next to me never smelled a thing. Somehow people who love me say they never smell anything. Maybe I am just reacting more to the people who have hateful spirits. My Pastor at the time said this man's smelly spirit was much worse than my smelly body. Anyway, after so many similar experience, I don't attend church anymore. Thankfully, I have a church that has online services.

I know I am not alone. Very few people have escaped the ridicule of others. We all have to face our own imperfections. When you are overwhelmed by the person you see in the mirror, see yourself through God's eyes. In God's eyes we are all the same. God sees you. God cherishes you. God loves you. God sees our light when all we see is darkness. God sees all our potentials. God sees this person who falls, but gives us the power to get up again and again. God sees our pain, but gives us the power to become a person who gets hurt, but does not become hard or bitter; only softer, more loving, more forgiving, more resilient to change.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39


Don't Laugh At Me by Mark Wills

I'm a little boy with glasses, the one they call a geek
a little girl who never smiles cuz I got braces on my teeth
and I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep
I'm that kid on every playground who is always chosen last
I’m the one who is slower than the others in my class
You don't have to be my friend but is it too much to ask
Don't laugh at me, don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
some day we'll all have perfect Wings
Don't laugh at me
I'm the beggar on the corner
You pass me on the street
I wouldn't be out here begging if I had enough to eat
and don't think I don't notice that our eyes never meet
I was born a little different
I do my dreaming from this chair
I pretend it doesn’t hurt me when people point and stare
There’s a simple way to show me just how much you care
Don't laugh at me, Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me
I'm Fat, I'm thin, I'm Short, I'm tall, I'm deaf, I'm blind
Hey aren't we all
Don't laugh at me, Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

Have you ever felt like you just didn't fit in? Is this all there is? Why am I here, and for what reason? Have you ever wondered why my life seems to just be drifting along without any apparent plan. Does God really care? Does He really know what I am going through? There are times I wonder...there are times I feel like I am just waiting to die.

I believe most of us have experienced some of these at one time or another. Whether it's due to the stress of our fast paced society, sickness or some other form of ordeal, we need to keep this in mind...the devil always wants to get us into the place of despair. Feeling as if there is no hope and that we are the only one that is experiencing this type of anguish.

If you are a born again Christian, then what you are going through may be a partial truth, but it's not the total truth. You may be experiencing great financial trouble, but the Word of God says that He takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servant! Sickness and disease may be ravaging your body, but the Word of God says that by His stripes you were healed!

The Word of God tells us that we have been given favor from the Lord, it's our inheritance as child of God. You may not be experiencing it at this very moment, but you can if you will focus on the total truth and begin to expect favor instead of lack and trouble.

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." (Psalm 5:11-12)

Remember this truth... If things can go wrong, they can just as easily go right! Each of us has been given a unique and individual purpose that cannot fail if we will cast off fear and stop listening to the lies of the devil. So, shake off that feeling of dread and despair. Get back into fellowship with the Father and put on the garment of praise, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

"I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and my soul knows very well." Psalm 139:14

When we struggle with pain and suffering it is difficult to believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made, but trust that God had a plan in mind when he formed you. Sometimes I think about what I could accomplish if I had a healthy body and mind. Thinking I might better serve the Lord if I had better abilities.

I would be able to do more, go more, be more; but I suspect it might not be more of what God had planned for me. I suspect God knows that I would be so caught up in my own agenda I would loose site of His perfect will. If I wasn’t forced to be still I wouldn’t be able to hear His voice as clearly.

So, I will rejoice that God has a plan for me, just as I am, and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made...made for this life I am living.

Earma Brown asked me to review her book "WOW! Women of Worth." The first thing I noticed was how similar it was to my writings. I began to wonder was she reading my blog...then I realized...it is the same Spirit! Her book is about giving women the tools to become extraordinary. This is what God is trying to get out to His Children, especially women, who have struggled with being significant. The enemy is always trying to get us to believe we are insignificant.

Her book is filled with passages of encouragement and wisdom. She shares insights learned in her journey to become extraordinary and battles she has fought along the way. In a dream, she was fighting the enemy with sticks and ineffective tools. In it she would be beat-up and wounded by snakes, the enemy, attacking her. Then the Holy Spirit spoke to her about the weapons of warfare in Ephesians six and she was able to quench the fiery darts thrown at her and rip the enemy's head off.

I also had a similar dream I wrote about in The Battle. I believe it is a common tactic of the enemy to tempt us into a battle unprepared. He knows when we truly know who we are in Christ and know how to use the weapons God has given us for warfare his defeat is immanent. His only chance is to defeat us while we are weak and unprotected and lack the tools to fight. I recommend her "Women of Worth Series" for anyone looking to become extraordinary using ordinary tools.

I thought that I was ready,
I went marching off to war.

To challenge the mighty serpent,
It was time to even the score.

I thought that I could conquer,
the might of the evil one.

But, my power wasn't strong enough,
I called out for the CHOSEN one.

Then I heard the trumpets calling,
The KING of kings is here.

His left hand held a scepter, the right a mighty sword.
He came in all his glory, to take away my fear.

He said "it's time for battle,"
Your strength is in the sword.

Just ask and you'll receive it,
Put on the whole armor of the Lord.

For those with ears to hear Him,
Let them call upon His name.

He'll give you strength and power,
And take away your fear and shame.

Are you ready for the battle,
To go marching off to war?

We'll challenge the mighty serpent,
With the power to even the score.

~Bren "Ready for Battle"

This poem was based on my experience of being attacked by the enemy. In a vision, I was battling the serpent and all I had was the sword. The serpent just kept getting bigger and bigger and I was standing there unprotected holding him off with my sword knowing my defeat was eminent, humbly, I called out for the Lord.

I saw Jesus coming down from heaven sitting on His throne and dressed in royal garb. He took his sword and anointed me with armor and said now go and fight...it's time for battle. I immediately turned and was able to slice the serpent into pieces. Then He gave me a word for the church and told me to go write "The Calling of the Church" and warn them about the serpent.

The Calling of the Church
~by bren

Beware the mighty serpent,
The darkness without the night.
He comes to deceive the righteous,
And hides them from the light.

Beware the might serpent,
The enemy from within.
He seeks to devour and torture,
And hide us from our sin.

Beware, the mighty serpent,
Disguised as an angel of light.
He strikes those unprotected.
Without the Lord’s strength and might.

Beware, the mighty serpent,
Disguised as the giver of life.
He works to deceive the body,
With unjust accusations and strife.

Beware, the mighty serpent,
His hour is yet to come.
We know not how much time we have,
To prepare for the Chosen one.

We need to prepare. Without God's armor on "the serpent" is going to have you for lunch. It would be nice if Jesus would come down and tap us all and poof we had armor. I know some people will repeatedly quote Ephesians 6:13, but it's not the words, it's the actions. God gave me that vision so I would understand His word is to be applied...that means we have to take action...that it is our responsibility to put the armor on.

We are in the battle and we need to have the Lord's protection and be prepared.

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” (John 14:1-4)

How comforting it is to know that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for us. A place where we will reside with the Father and be reunited with our loved ones. In our Father's house there is shelter from the storms. In our Father's house there is great comfort and rest as He embraces us with His Holy Spirit.

Here are the Directions to My Father's House...

If you are headed down Sin Alley, you will soon find it is a dead-end road and that at it's end is a place called "Destruction".

To avoid this place you should:Quickly make a U-Turn and head towards Repentance Road.(You will have to make a Right Turn to reach this destination.)

Watch out for the Potholes of Pride that might deter you or Signs of Independence that might lead you to go the wrong way.

Once you are on Repentance Road, keep going until you reach Believer's Blvd.

Then, Keep Going Straight, until you come to Gospel Lane, make another Right turn and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.

You are now on Grace Blvd which turns into Forgiveness Lane.

Next, turn onto the Bridge of Faith, which at times may be over some troubled waters, but if you Keep Going Straight you can make another Right turn onto Prayer Place Parkway and once there, you will find help anytime of the day or night.

Then, another Right turn will take you to Words of Life Place which is on Scripture Street. This is a good place to find answers to any questions you may have about life for The Helper lives here and will guide you to all truth.

Remember, as you go on your way,yield Not to the traffic on Temptation Ave and Pass up Envy Drive, Hate Blvd and Grudge Lane.

Also, pass Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Avenue, Lying Lane and Backbiting Blvd. You will also do well to avoid Worry Road, Doubt Street, Pride Place and Pity Path. For these are all Detours that will lead you back to Sin Alley or Depression Dump.

There may be times that you have to go down Long-suffering Lane, Persecution Blvd., or Trials and Tribulations Ave. But that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead!

So, Keep Going Straight for You are on the King's Highway and Heaven-bound!

If you follow these directions you will someday reach My Father's House where a special place has been prepared just for you to dwell in for eternity!

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (John 14:6)

We all would like to think we will be remembered after we are gone. That our friends and family will keep our memories alive. That we will me missed. I remember crying at my father's funeral over the loss of a father, over the traumatic experience of seeing him completely burned, but mostly because I never knew him. He started traveling around the world installing turbines the year I was born. I didn't grieve the loss of my father. I grieved the loss of never having one.

Years later I learned that, even though I could barely remember him through personal experiences, I could remember him through other people's experiences. I believe there is something important about remembering...you keep people alive in your mind and heart. The Bible gives us this same opportunity. Even though we didn't walk with Jesus, we can remember him through the experiences of the disciples. Jesus told the disciples "Remember Me!" as they shared their last supper.

"Remember Me!" Jesus emphasized that twice during the last supper, which we repeat when we share in Holy Communion. Holy Communion is about remembering Him and Him alone. It is about remembering His love for you and His victory over sin. It seems we have made it into something else...something ritualistic and self center...remember "me"...am "I" worthy. No one is worthy. It is through Jesus' broken body and shed blood that God forgets my sins... but not me. God remembers me!

Whether you had a relationship with your earthly father or not, we have a Heavenly Father who will never leave you nor forsake you... in your sorrow and in your pain...He will remember you!

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." Isaiah 49:15-16

My Father was born in Cozad, Dawson Co., NE. He was a Renaissance man. He learned carpentry from his father and built our family home including the kitchen cabinets. He played trombone in his high school band, then played in a swing band as an adult. He also played the saxophone, violin, and organ. He was so proud of his organ just like the one on Lawrence Welk. He taught himself whatever interested him. He built and flew his own airplane. When televisions became prevalent he learned how to repair them and started a small repair business. He also taught himself how to repair watches and anything mechanical.

He was a mechanic and always wanted to take everything apart and put it back together. During World War II he wasn't required to serve since he had loss the hearing in his left ear as a child. His sister was living at home during the war. While her husband was in the service she worked in their parent's grocery store. It was necessary to have a car because she was pregnant and needed transportation to the doctor. My Father took the car apart and put it back together just to see if he could do it. His sister was apprehensive about this since she was not so confident in his abilities. The car was put back together and ran wonderfully except she was again distraught when he would use up her gas rationing.
My Father worked at the city power plant. While he was there the company who installed a new generator, was so impressed by his work they offered him a job. In 1955 he went to work as an erectional engineer installing turbine generators around the world. With all his frequent travels we rarely saw him. During one of his infrequent visits home he was at the city power plant trying to help them get more power when an accident occurred, completely burning his entire body. I was still home at this time and went with my Mother to the emergency room. I was the only child to see this horrendous sight. He was taken to a burn unit then to dialyzes. He died 3 days later from kidney failure. He was only 45.

All I can remember is that he spent hours playing the organ and we always had to watch Lawrence Welk when he was home. I remember him teaching me how to use a slide ruler. Mathematics seemed to be the only thing we had in common. My sister's have a lot of memories. It is difficult to believe we grew up in the same house, since our experiences where so completely different.

"Bah! Humbug!" is the famous line quoted by Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol declaring Christmas to be a fraud. Scrooge despised Christmas because of his cold heart and greed, but many people feel the disappointment and unmet expectations that Christmas brings.

For them Christmas was "humbug"...something designed to deceive and mislead. The problem is Christmas has been turned into a cornucopia of religious and secular traditions with a sprinkling of fairy dust on top. It has been turned into something designed to deceive and mislead.

It has been turned into something "magical"... where all your dreams may come true. In reality all your dreams rarely come true. This combination of fantasy and marketing leaves many disappointed when confronted with the reality of their personal experience. Some remember the magic of childhood, when the twinkling of lights took them to "Never Never Land," when the happiness from a new toy made life complete, and long to return.

That is not the message of Jesus, whose birth we are celebrating. His message is love. Not "magical" love, but love coming from a heart transformed by the cross. Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus say this is the day of my birth, let us rejoice and remember it. What Jesus does say in I Corinthians 11:24-25 is...

“...This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.”25. In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

So, this Christmas season, let's remember the real message of Jesus and long for HIS return.

Emma took care of the class frog for the Christmas break. Coreyn loved it!